One thing about breakups is they aren't always so seamless.
When you invest years and emotions into the development of a romantic union, you acquire a level of attachment to the person you're dating. Love can often feel like an addictive drug so many overdose on. So when splitting from the person you thought you'd be with forever, you're usually left feeling like a piece of yourself is missing, and regrettably have to learn to function without them.
But in 2015, you shouldn't still be holding on to someone of your past. They call them exes for a reason.
While no one can deny the difficulty in letting them go--and all the emotional baggage that comes with it--you know ultimately it's time to move on...and quick. If you're one of the countless others who need help getting over your ex, follow our comprehensive guide. You'll have a far better 2015 if you do.
Ask yourself why you're still holding on.
One of the main reasons we hold on to past relationships is because there's something there that's unresolved or questions yet to be answered. Ask yourself what is it that keeps you holding on to your ex. Is there something about them you feel you need in your life, or do they just represent something you want in your life?--because there's a difference. In order to draw a true line in the sand you need to first know where you stand. Typically those who hold onto exes are the ones who got dumped. Maybe you're holding on because you feel a level of rejection and want to prove to your ex and yourself that they made a mistake. Or maybe you're the type who has to have romance in your life and have a tendency to go back to what's familiar. Whatever the reason, you can never truly get your feelings in check until you internalize the issue and why you dip back into the past. Self-awareness is the gateway to moving on, trust us.
Face your ex directly.
Closure is essential for any breakup. If there are things left unsaid between you and your ex lover, it’s important that you give yourself the opportunity and space to do so. Try to meet up with your ex in person, or if more applicable, chat over the phone. Get to the heart of your discomfort and don’t leave any stone unturned. More often than not, relationships end rather dramatically and both parties are not in the greatest space to have honest conversation in the heat of the moment about the things in the relationship that angered or bothered them. But remember: having a conversation with your ex is not about trying to patch things up and rekindle the romance. If you made the decision that a breakup is necessary, it’s important for you to accept that. Closure is about not leaving things unsaid, because when you do you emotionally and mentally remain stuck and deprive yourself of the chance to find a new and better love.
Purge them from your life.
After you get your closure and have said all that's needed to be said to your ex lover, the next critical step is to remove them from all aspects of your life. Unless you have children together, own property together or are business partners, there's no reason why you should still be in communication with an ex---especially a recent one you still have feelings for. Keeping the person you're trying to get over close to you is counterproductive to moving on. It keeps you more stuck than anything else. Purge them from your phone and social media accounts, and toss aside anything that may remind you of them, including old gifts and photographs. Getting over someone takes time and you don't want to delay the process by sabotaging yourself with the constant reminders of their existence. That's not to say you can never befriend an ex. However, that cannot be done until you're able to unlearn the romanticism you once developed with them.
Get out there and have fun.
No need sitting up in the house moping around. You'll never move on with that kind of attitude. A great way to taking your mind off your ex is actually hopping right back into the dating scene. Placing yourself back on the market helps you make a powerful mental note that the relationship you once had is no longer. Granted, depending on how recent your breakup is you may not be ready to seriously date anyone. But that doesn't mean you can't casually date. Have fun with the prospects that are out there. Not to mention, sometimes it takes seeing what else is out there in order for you to come to the conclusion that the love you were so wrapped up on is actually not for you. Trust us, there's always a better guy out there. You just have to be willing to open up and take that leap of faith, because when you experience what you you should've had all along you will never again entertain the idea of going back to your ex.
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