For many women, getting the perfect gift from your man is like a rite of passage in the dating game. It’s the one time other than your birthday you receive something especially picked out for you, and most of all you get to show it off to your family and friends.
But what if the gift you get from your man turns out not to be what you were expecting? Do you smile with faux appreciation, or do you let your disappointment show? How embarrassing it must be to be asked by loved ones what your man got you for Christmas only for them to find out he got you a pair of thongs (is it for you or secretly for him?)
The true question, however, lies in whether or not what your man gets you for the holiday is a tell tale of how he feels about you and the relationship.
The answer? It depends.
Granted, a man who truly loves you will undoubtedly do everything in his power to gift you with something that will have you grinning ear to ear. Diamonds. A trip out the country. A pendant heart. Those are the things most women look forward to when they unwrap their mystery gift.
But if he gifts you with something a little less appealing--such as a teddy bear, cheap jewelry or gift card--all hell is sure to break loose.
You certainly have a right to be in your feelings if it appears your significant other did not put enough thought into your gift or simply didn’t go the extra mile. We have expectations and there’s usually more value to a gift than what meets the eye. To many it unveils where he presently sees the relationship. Theoretically, any man who exerts a lot of thought and energy into what he gets his woman is a sure sign that he’s happy in his relationship and maybe even sees it going in the direction of marriage.
Keep in mind, however, that a not-so-hot gift doesn’t always signify that your man doesn’t love you or see the relationship as a priority.
If the gift is wack, it could mean one of three things. (1) He’s just not that into you, (2) he doesn’t know any better or (3) he’s financially strapped.
In this economy, the days of buying your (non-wife) woman a pair of diamond studs or designer handbag are few and far between. Maybe he decided to splurge on his mother and didn’t have the means to ball out on your gift, or maybe he’s saving up to pay off his debt or to put a down payment on a home. Though he should communicate if he’s conserving or experiencing money woes, it’s important not to jump to conclusions if you happen not to get the gift you were expecting. Other times men just don’t know what to get a woman, and in that case you should attribute it to his cluelessness and not his heart. To avoid that in the future, you may want to encourage a friend to step in and help guide him on what would be a more appropriate gift for you.
Ultimately though, you don’t need a gift to tell you how your man feels about you. It’s not some magic ball that will determine the fate of your relationship. If you know your partner well enough, you’ll know how he feels--which he may show you in other ways. Instead of over-analyzing a gift you’ll probably forget about by Valentine’s Day, open up the floor to discuss your feelings with your mate about it. Maybe he didn’t know what to get you, or maybe he just doesn’t see the point in breaking bank for the sake of one overrated holiday. Whatever the reason, you’ll have a better idea if you do less scrutinizing and more discussing.
Remember it's not what's in the gift that counts, but what's in the heart.
(Photo:Matthew Plexman / Masterfile)