Is It Ever OK To Break Up With A Mate By Phone?

Life & Love | Gerren Keith Gaynor | 10/03/2014 | 01:00 PM EDT

Why in-person breakups are best

Many were shocked to hear that pop singers Jason Derulo and Jordin Sparks decided to call it quits after three years of dating. But what’s shocking is not the fact that they broke up, but rather how Derulo chose to seal the deal: over the phone.

While the “Talk Dirty” crooner’s excuse was that he “wasn’t in town,” it’s hard not to turn a side eye to the 25-year-old entertainer for not breaking up the old fashioned way.


Yes, we live in a technological, social media savvy society, but has that become the new standard for communication?

The day breaking up with someone on the phone becomes the norm is the day modern society has completely lost its sense of civility...or maybe that day has already come.

While one could come up with a million and one excuses why it’d be better to break up via phone, they are just that: excuses. Anything as serious as potentially crushing someone’s heart or, at the very least, solidifying a permanent life decision, warrants a face-to-face encounter.

Even reality television stars know better than to break up with someone over the phone--even if it’s done for the spectacle of viewership.


In-person breakups are crucial and really should be mandatory. Not only is it the mature thing to do, but it allows the other person the opportunity to voice their concerns in a way that is authentic and human-like.

Anyone who’s been tossed to the side over the phone knows that it makes you feel cheated; you don’t feel as if you’ve properly been given a fair shot at defending yourself or even making a plea to make it work. It’s one thing to get your heart stomped on, but it’s another thing to not be able to look your mate in the not get that opportunity to properly express your pain or indifference.

A relationship that’s lasted more than a year deserves that much.

The truth of the matter is that those who break up via phone or any other form of telecommunication are cowards. Because if you’re man or woman enough to come to the decision to call it quits, you should be grown enough to do it in person.

(Photo: londoneye/GettyImages)

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