Why ‘Putting Up’ With A Man Is Just Not Enough

Life & Love | Gerren Keith Gaynor | 08/22/2014 | 04:00 PM EDT

CentricTV.com Gerren Keith Gaynor says women can learn what not to do from Chris Brown and Karrueche Tran

Chris Brown’s relationship with on-again, off-again girlfriend Karrueche Tran is so unpredictable you never know what to expect. One minute they’re sub-tweeting each other, questioning each other’s loyalty and the next they’re seemingly planning a wedding.


“..damn near 5 years and this woman still putting up with my s--t. Need to have this baby and stop playing!” Chris captioned along with a photo of his ride-or-die woman.


While the picture and accompanying note were intended to honor Tran for sticking by his side, you can’t help but feel sorry for her and all the things she had to “put up with” to be with the Grammy-winning singer-songwriter.


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Though the couple recently reconciled (for now), Tran experienced quite the drama over the years; from being dumped so that Brown could get back with ex-girlfriend Rihanna, to holding him down while in and out of court hearings and, ultimately, his stint in prison.


Why is that women always have to be superwoman? Always having to put up with a man’s transgressions; his fickle ways, inability to fully commit, insensitivity and hyper-aggression?


Sometimes it seems as if women have to always hold down the fort and take care of home base...but who’s taking care of them?

 

Contrary to what Brown thinks, five years with one man off and on does not constitute that it’s now time to have his baby. By the looks of it, Karrueche has a lot of re-evaluating and Chris has a lot of growing to do before either of them make any life-long decisions together.


Despite the tumultuous relationship she’s endured with Brown, Tran doesn’t seem too phased.


"Lovers.. Friends.. We love, we laugh, we fight.. It's complicated and I can't explain it but it's not for you to understand but us,” she posted on Instagram under a photo of Brown at dinner.


She’s right. It isn’t for anyone else to understand. But maybe the problem is the fact that Karrueche, like so many other young girls and women, continue to engage with men who are clearly not emotionally available for long-term commitment. Sticking by his side, putting up with all his BS and waiting for him to magically turn into the man you want him to be is not an effective method to a happy love life.


Being a ride-or-die is so overrated.


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While accepting that a man may not be ready is not an easy pill to swallow, it’s a reality that one has to accept. Otherwise, you’ll find yourself in a cycle of hurt and disappointment. While there’s no doubt that Chris and Karrueche have a lot of love for each other, it doesn’t negate the fact that their relationship is very volatile--not to mention that they're very young and have a lot of growing to do. Any man who allegedly breaks up with you at the drop of a dime clearly doesn’t value you and your love the way in which you value him.


It’s time women stop putting up and start wising up. When a man really wants to be with you, he’ll make that very clear (and not just in an Instagram post). Real love is constant and you never have to question it. Let’s hope more women learn from Karrueche how not to date.


The opinions in this article are solely of the author and do not reflect the thoughts of Centric or BET Networks.


(Photo: Chessa /London Entertainment/Splash News)

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