It’s no secret that divorce in America has become quite the standard. More and more children are obliged to spend their time going from one home to the other; one week at mom’s and the next at dad’s.
Any psychologist would tell you about the emotional and behavioral effects of divorce. Some children act out in school, causing their grades to suffer, while others exhibit feelings of abandonment or lack of confidence.
Splitting up your household after divorce can be painful. So much so that some parents reluctantly choose to file those papers, sometimes never finding the courage to do so until their children are of adult age.
On the upcoming episode of Centric’s “According To Him + Her”--hosted by Free and Brian Hooks--comedians will debate Rule 257: “After a divorce, it’s okay to live together for the kids.”
In a perfect world such an arrangement would work just fine, but the reality is that staying in it for the sake of the kids is a faulty concept, and it’s one that’s been proven to be unsuccessful and counterproductive. While you may think you’re giving your child stability and the image of a happy, cohesive family, you’re really causing more harm than good.
Children are not dumb; they know real love when they see it. Therefore putting up a visage of a united front only adds more tension to an already shaky foundation. What good is having both parents under the same roof if they look miserable while playing a game of house.
It’s better to be upfront with your children and attend the womb, rather than putting a band-aid on it while it worsens. Sit your children down and have that conversation. Allow them the time and space to accept the reality of their family dynamic rather than being raised in a home that’s filled with lies and deceit.