There’s nothing like a momma’s boy. Any woman (or man) who’s managed to date one can tell you just how difficult it is to cut that proverbial umbilical cord. It’s one thing to have a close relationship with your mom, but it’s another thing to not know boundaries. Coming into such terrain can be overwhelming and even intimidating; no one can quite compete with the woman who gave birth to you.
In the case that you do find yourself dating a momma’s boy, Centric has compiled a survival guide for how to navigate the relationship without stepping over anyone’s toes. But remember, date at your own risk.
The real key to any mother-son-partner threesome is mutual respect. In order for everyone to be comfortable and happy in this social triangle, everyone has to understand their role and play their position, so to speak. Moms deserve to be treated like queens, no doubt. But she has to understand that she is the queen of her own household, not her son’s. Who her son dates is not really her concern. She has to trust that she raised her son to choose his partner wisely, and that said person will make him happy. Not to mention, a mate functions in entirely different role - one that includes sex (however you want to interpret that).
But at the same token, the mate must also realize that a man’s mother is at the core of his being, and could not possibly choose the person he shares his bed with over the woman who birthed him - nor should he or she expect him to. Nonetheless, it’s the son’s duty to ensure that both parties are secure, appreciated and, more importantly, respected on all fronts.
Just because you may never win the fight against your partner’s mother, it doesn’t mean you can’t still win. Rather than fighting the fact that your man is a momma’s boy, include her as much as possible. By doing this, you’re showing your man that you are mature enough to share the spotlight, and it makes a clear statement to the mother that she is not seen as a threat. Invite her over for dinner, seek her guidance and advice for when planning events like your mate’s birthday, do whatever is necessary for her to begin to see you as not just a love interest or partner, but as a part of the family. By doing so, you create an organic bond that threads the three of you together.
Hold Your Man Accountable
Sometimes no matter how much you stay in your role and play nice with mom, signs of an unhealthy mother-son relationship may continue to rear its ugly little head. But rather than taking matters into your own hands, hold your man accountable. Ultimately it’s up to him to check his mom if she happens to get out of line - and he doesn’t have to be disrespectful to do it. Sit your man down and speak from the heart. If you’re feeling like you’re not being valued the way you should, speak up. Anyone who doesn’t respect you for that shouldn’t be with you in the first place.
(Photo: Mike Watson/moodboard/Corbis)