According To Him + Her: What Do You Do If The Sex Isn’t Good?

Life & Love | Gerren Keith Gaynor | 07/24/2014 | 11:30 AM EDT

Tune in to Centric’s ‘According To Him + Her’ on Fridays at 10 p.m. EST

Getting to home run in the bedroom can either be a defining moment in a relationship, or can be a sign of the end, depending on whether you’re looking at the situation from a half-full or half-empty point of view.

On the upcoming episode of Centric’s “According To Him + Her,” experts will weigh in on Rule 201 - which is in two parts - “If I hit it, you’re mine” and “What if you hit it and you don’t like it?”

Let’s tackle the former. There’s nothing in the world like good, hot, steamy sex, and once you find a partner that knows how to put it down, it’s a natural feeling to never want to let it go. But in the case that you get a little sprung off one’s bedroom skills, it’s important that you remember to keep things in perspective. Being overzealous not only sets yourself up for disappoint - should your prospective mate decide that he or she doesn’t want commitment - but it can also be a sure way to scare them away, quite literally.

If the sex is as good as you think - and the feeling is mutual - your lover will eventually meet you halfway. There’s no need to start marking your territory based on good sex alone. What about other qualities like personality, life goals and income?


On the flipside, if you seal the deal in the bedroom only to find out that the sex is wack...well then you have a problem.

There’s nothing more disappointing than getting worked up about a potential mate to discover that your sex compatibility is not in sync.

The upside is that just because the sex isn’t good, it doesn’t mean it has to stay that way.

There are many ways to improve the sex, including guiding your partner to achieve optimum sexual satisfaction and trying new things in the bedroom like role play and sex toys. And if things are really that bad, the best thing to do is to be open and honest by sharing your frustration with your sexual partner. No one wants to be unpleasing to their mate, so calling out the big elephant in the room may actually encourage them to improve their skills.

Ultimately sex is very crucial to happy union, but it doesn’t necessarily have to be the be all end all. There’s far more to a relationship than sex, and sometimes bumping the brakes to reevaluate is the best policy.

(Photo: Juice Images/Corbis)

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