On the upcoming episode of “According To Him + Her” the experts will hilariously address Rule 233: Never claim your kids on the first date.
Say what now?
“I don’t date men with kids. Little Tee Tee need her braces taken off? Not my problem,” says Nikka Williams.
It’s ha ha jokingly funny, but are people really out here not mentioning that they have kids?
There’s plenty of topics that should be off the table for first dates: salary, number of sexual partners, social security number. Hiding that you have kids is totally first date appropriate if the topic comes up.
We’re not saying bust out your iPhone and have your date scroll through 32 pictures of baby Ziya sleeping. That’s doing the absolute most. But you shouldn’t intentionally not mention you have kids, especially when it’s likely the person will find out if the date makes it pass date one.
People like Williams want to make an informed decision on if they want to keep dating you if they have kids. If it doesn’t come up until date eight they may feel misled. Kids are a major part of any parent's life so they should also want anyone they’re dating to understand and be OK with that.
The conversation about kids initially doesn’t have to be no more than five minutes. Mention how many kids you have, their ages and keep it moving. At least if you’re on a date with someone who doesn’t want to deal with anyone with kids, you won’t have to waste time on a second or third date only to find out by the fourth date that they’ve stopped calling you because you have kids.
Also, please don’t state you having children as if it’s a death sentence. Don’t be that parent. You have kids, so do a lot of single people looking to meet someone. It can be a win win scenario.
If it genuinely doesn’t come up on the first date that’s OK too. The sooner the other person knows though, the better. Just don’t be in these dating streets purposely not mentioning you have kids for whatever reason. The person you’re supposed to be with will not take issue with you being a parent.
(Photo: Tim Pannell/Corbis)