According To Him + Her: 3 Ways White Lies Can Stunt A Relationship

Life & Love | Camille Travis | 07/10/2014 | 03:30 PM EDT

Even the tiniest of fibs can put a strain on your romance

We've all told lies. While honesty is the best policy, you'd be hard-pressed to find a person who's never told a tiny fib, or worse, a few tall tales.


In the case of relationships, a study published in the Communication Quarterly journal found that couples lie to each other an average of three times a week. Researchers focused in on "deceptive affection" in which expressed affection doesn't match up with what a person is genuinely feeling. It's telling your boyfriend his haircut looks nice when you really hate it or giving your girlfriend a thumbs up on an ill-fitting dress.


In the season two premiere of "According To Him + Her," hosts Brian Hooks and Free will present Rule 53: Lying is essential to maintaining a healthy relationship. But is it? It's safe to say white lies won't lead to the demise of your relationship, but keeping even small truths from your partner can weaken an otherwise strong bond. Here's why:


You leave no room for improvement.
If your partner asks "Does this outfit make me look fat?" and it's not the most flattering option in his/her closet, why lie? Sure, there's a way to finesse your answer but hiding the truth does more harm than help. Speak up on where you believe your mate can improve. But gently, folks. Gently.


You hide from showing your true feelings.
More relationships could benefit from both parties just telling it like it is. Don't say "I'm fine" when you're irritated and want to hash it out. Don't say "I'm happy" to save the effort of having an argument. Take control of the situation and deal with it. Transparency can make all the difference.


You run the risk of creating a snowball of lies
. Telling one white lie can lead to a domino effect of telling more and more lies. What starts off as a seemingly harmless fib can quickly turn into a full-on lie that will be harder to explain than just being honest in the first place. Take the easy route and tell the truth.

 

Tune into "According To Him + Her," airing Fridays at 10 p.m. EST on Centric!


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