'According To Him & Her': Can You Break Up With Your Significant Other If They Become Celibate?

Life & Love | Bené Viera | 05/30/2014 | 02:05 PM EDT

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Let’s keep it funky. Sex is very important in a relationship.

“According To Him + Her”
asks whether becoming celibate while in a relationship is grounds for breakup.

Anything is technically grounds for breakup if someone wants out of a relationship. Whether it’s a good reason or not is subjective. But moving on to sex. Yes, a switcheroo like celibacy while in a relationship is grounds for a break up.

Ideally—and in some unrealistic rom-com— a man or woman decides all of a sudden they want to be celibate and their significant other loves them so deeply they’re willing to take the same vow of having no sex for however long the newly celibate mate decides. Everyone is happy, they get married and let the limitless sex begin.

It could happen. It probably has happened.

But we’re not talking about two people knowingly entering a relationship with someone who is celibate. This is someone in a relationship who’s been having sex, perhaps mind-blowing sex, up and deciding they’re going to be celibate. And now the other person has a decision to make: stay in the no-sex relationship or breakup.

Breaking up is on the table here because, well, people have needs. There’s nothing wrong with having sexual desires that can’t go ignored. If someone can’t realistically not have sex with their significant other for an extended amount of time (unless of course for health reasons) then it’s best to leave opposed to potentially cheating or just being unfulfilled or unhappy.

Celibacy is wonderful. If two people agree on it before entering the relationship or are OK with switching up after having sex, then more power to them. However, it’s unrealistic to ask your partner to commit to celibacy if you two have a history of having sex. Some will, some won’t.

This is not to say you shouldn't decide to go celibate during your relationship. If you are moved to do so, by all means, do what you like. Just don’t feel you’ve been wronged if your partner knows themselves well enough to know not having sex isn’t an option for them and breaks up with you as a result.

(Photo: Rob Lewine/Getty Images)

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