The Gift Of Singlehood

Life & Love | Gerren Keith Gaynor | 04/11/2014 | 04:00 PM EDT

Not having a companion isn't a death can actually be quite liberating

Oftentimes single people feel a strong sense of emptiness. While their friends are out enjoying PDA with their significant other, single folk are left to their own misery, likely eating a pint of cookie dough ice cream while watching an episode of “Girlfriends.”

But why is it that we universally look at singlehood as some sort of social curse? Being single isn’t and should never be interpreted as something to be ashamed or bad about. In fact, contrary to popular belief, it’s a gift to be single in today’s hyper-dating, sex-driven society we live in today.

The sad reality is that many don’t know how to function as a single person. They feel as if they are somehow less complete without someone to “share” their life with. News flash: your life is for you to live and no one else’s, and if you can’t find solace with yourself you certainly won’t find it with another person in the picture.


While there’s nothing wrong with desiring companionship, there is something terribly dangerous about allowing your single status to depreciate from your personal goals, success and general happiness. Being single is an opportunity for you to focus on yourself and personal needs...needs that cannot be fulfilled from a romantic union.

It’s important to change the way we look at what it means to be single. Sometimes it’s a sign that you’re not ready. When bestowed the gift of singlehood, embrace it. Use that time and energy to accomplish life goals that would normally be distracting while in a relationship. Work on your interpersonal relationships with family, friends and business networks. Take the opportunity to travel on your own and discover the world from a first-person’s point of view. There’s no greater joy than feeling empowered and understanding the world around you for youself. There are great benefits to being single like not having anyone to answer to, the freedom to date more liberally and having a better sense of self.

But another critical component to being single is accepting the reality that not everyone is meant to be in a relationship. Despite the fairy tale that we’ve been conditioned to, not everyone dies with a companion by their side. Many will die single, and there’s nothing wrong with that. There’s so much more to life than obtaining marriage and that symbolic white-picket fence. You can still raise a family, date, have sex and have a perfectly blissful life as a single person.

It’s all about looking at the glass half full. Try it.

(Photo: Image Source/Getty Images)

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