Is Having A Roommate As A Grown Man Or Woman Ok?

Life & Love | Bené Viera | 04/08/2014 | 01:00 PM EDT

A recovering economy is forcing many adults to reconsider living alone, but it could also cost your dating life.

Grown men and women with roommates is a serious point of consideration when dating. Having a roommate could mean less spontaneous intimacy or unnecessary drama. It’s natural for someone new entering the picture to consider if they want to deal.

“According to Him & Her”
will address Rule 263: “In this economy it’s nothing wrong with a grown ass man or woman having a roommate” in Friday’s episode.

While having a roommate may not be a deal breaker for some, there are a few factors to consider. For starters, what city does the person with said roommate live?

In cities like NYC and L.A. it’s practically the norm for mid-career level adults to have a roommate, if not two or three. The cost of living in metropolitan cities are ridiculously high, and one of the few ways to live below your means is to have a roomie. But in a city like Charlotte, North Carolina or Flint, MI, those in the dating pool may not be so understanding about grown folks having roommates since the cost of living is much lower.

Then there’s the age factor. After a certain age, a grown up should be able to hold down (and afford) a household of their own. Dating a 29-year-old with a roommate is quite different than dating a 37-year-old with a roommate. When some people date they are looking for a potential husband or wife. They want to see their potential partner as someone who can hold down a home on their own. And everyone should live alone at least once before marrying.

Unfortunately, there’s also a double standard to having a roomie, sort of like it’s more acceptable for women to live at home with their parents than it is for men. We don’t make the rules. A grown woman with a roomie is more understandable than a grown man with a roomie past a certain age. It is what it is.

Since we’re on the subject of gender, there’s one of the most important questions to ponder: Is it okay for the person you’re dating to have a roommate of the opposite sex?

The opposite sex roommate changes everything for some. There are men who will never be comfortable with their woman living with another man who has potentially seen their lady fresh out of the shower while in her towel. On the flip side, there are women who don’t want their man sharing a common living space with another woman.

So generally speaking, a roommate of the opposite sex is off limits. Roomies for grown folks are okay, but date at your own risk.

(Photo: Blend Images - LWA/Sharie Kennedy/Getty Images)

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