Is Sex With Other People While On A Break Ever Ok?

Life & Love | Bené Viera | 03/07/2014 | 12:00 PM EST

Writer Bené Viera weighs in on the complexities of having sex while separated from your mate

One too many babies have resulted from male celebs taking a break from their long-term (what’s supposed to be monogamous) relationships. Hey, Ludacris. Hey, Dwyane Wade.


In Centric's new relationship show "According to Him & Her," we explore Rule No. 52: Sex with other people while on a break is okay. It can be okay if the rules of the break are discussed and agreed upon up front. But having a child during a “break” is where things get muddy. And in general it’s why breaks aren’t recommended.


Breaks happen. In fact, “BEING” guest Boris Kodjoe and wife Nicole Ari Parker took a nine-month break when they first started dating to embark on individual therapy. They’ve now been happily married for nearly 10 years. But the exception is not the rule. Usually people take breaks to figure out if they can repair the relationship and get back together. Once someone has sex with another person the situation becomes more complicated than it already is.


So is sex okay during a break? Technically a break is a breakup, which means you’re single. But feelings are still involved and no one actually wants the other person to have random sex, or worse, a break baby. However, single people are free to do as single people please. Both people should be very clear upfront that they want to behave as a single person and that may involve sexing other people. If both people agree that sex is okay on a break, then no one can be upset about the possible consequences.


Now, how well that works in practice is another story. If two people love one another and are breaking up to work things out and the two reconcile, how does that conversation go when the other person asks if they had sex on their break? Even though the two agreed they could do as they choose as singles, how do you now deal with the baggage of one person feeling a way about it?


In the case of people breaking up to move on and then they just so happen to get back together six months or more later, it’d seem like what happened in the meantime is irrelevant. But for those who are taking a break with the premise of “working it out,” sex with someone else complicates everything. Just ask Ludacris and Eudoxie or Dwyane Wade and Gabrielle Union, and that’s if you even believe they were on a break.


Have sex while on a break, but do so at your own risk!


(Photo: Getty Images)

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