While out promoting his latest film, About Last Night, actor Michael Ealy touched on why he decided to marry his wife back in 2012, a decision that caught many by surprise.
“Marriage opens up an entirely different can of worms as it pertains to your evolution as a man. I’ve found that for me, the timing of it was right,” the Hollywood heartthrob told Rolling Out magazine.
But when asked to give some relationship advice to men who are considering making the choice to walk down the aisle, Ealy revealed something rather interesting about what factors played into his choice to tie the knot.
“People think that you’re supposed to marry your type…well, I didn’t marry my type. It’s much more practical, and based in a day-to-day existence,” he said. “When you’re done playing games, and you find someone who has qualities that are much more practical as opposed to romanticized ideals, then you’ve got to hold on to them.”
Ealy’s comments brings up an interesting conversation about practicality versus ideal. People - men in particular - tend to date based off of a “type,” which can be anything from looks, background or similar interests. But in some cases, someone’s type usually falls on the shallow side, where they’re looking for who they think they should be with based on ideals formed from a host of cultural influences or bias.
But sometimes the ideal you have in our head about what and who your future husband or wife should be is a hindrance in itself, and more counterproductive to actually finding “the one.” While women are looking for a man with six figures and men are searching for a drop-dead gorgeous woman with a coke bottle frame, the real qualified partners could be getting away right before their eyes.
Types don’t have to be so blatantly superficial. Sometimes people look for things like someone who shares their political or religious affiliation, while for others it’s someone who’s good with kids. Whatever the type, however, sometimes you have to consider the fact that the person who’s out there for you may not fit those ideals...or you may never actually find what you're looking for.
Rather than looking for a type, maybe people should start looking for more practical traits like whether or not someone is a good listener, or a honest and generous person. Realistically, you can never truly date someone solely based on being practical or soley based on ideals. There are some things that attract you to a mate that you just can’t help, and sometimes you have to find a balance.
But if you’re constantly finding yourself asking ‘why am I still single?’, maybe you should step out of your normal pursuits and try something a little different. You just may find what you never thought you wanted.