How Long Would You Wait For A Ring?

Life & Love | Gerren Keith Gaynor | 02/03/2014 | 05:00 PM EST

Diddy finally got down on bended knee to ask long-time girl Cassie to marry him. But not every woman would have waited nearly seven years for a ring.

It looks like Cassie has finally been upgraded from Sean “Diddy” Combs’ longtime, inconspicuous girlfriend to official fiancee since becoming engaged, according to the hip-hop mogul’s instagram picture of a diamond ring he gave her.


If anyone who knows anything about the couple’s relationship history it’s that Cassie has in many ways been in the shadows of Diddy’s lavish life, often taking the backseat (not literally) to his party lifestyle and, at one point, what seemed to be a rekindling of his relationship with ex-girlfriend and mother of his children, Kim Porter.


And though the whole world was always aware of Diddy and Cassie’s “relationship,” he never truly claimed her as his girl. (Ironically, Cassie recorded a song called “Official Girl” that eerily resembled their situationship). Not to mention, it was just last year in October when Diddy told the ladies of The View that he wasn’t really ready for marriage.


“I’m not really looking because I know the responsibility that comes with that and I think that a lot of people, they jump into that and they’re not honest with themselves,” he said. “I’m brutally honest with myself. I don’t want to get married and not make that woman be the best. I’ve been close to it and when I’m ready I’ll make the announcement, but when I do it, I’m doing it forever.”


Somewhere between then and now, Mr. Combs seems to have had a change of heart. One can only speculate. Did Cassie give him an ultimatum? Is she pregnant? Or did he finally wake up and realize that the woman who’s been by his side over the past seven years was the true love of his life?


Whatever the reason, many appear to be happy for Cassie, mainly because many women, who stick around in hopes of their man one day popping the question, can relate to the singer.


But if you were in Cassie’s stilettos, would you have waited this long for a ring?


The factors that play into why men wait so long to propose varies, though they usually are because of a lack of financial stability/ability or a fear or unwillingness to commit. Judging from Diddy’s public comments on marriage and his very hefty bank account, it’s safe to say his was the latter.


No one should be forced into such a commitment like marriage, but for many women there’s always a cut-off date for when to get down on bended knee. For some it may be four to five years, while for others it’s less. But if marriage is something that you actually want, it’s important to (1) properly communicate that desire with your mate and (2) set a boundary so that you don’t find yourself in what many states still consider common law marriage (ten years).


Because we don’t actually know what conversations Diddy and Cassie had with one another behind closed doors about their relationship, it would be unfair to conclude that he strung her along all these years - though from the outside looking in, it seems as if this engagement was a long time coming.


What’s important is that Diddy has clearly evolved on the concept of marriage and monogamy and now he’s ready to finally embark on what will be his first union in matrimony. In many ways, Diddy gets a lot of respect for being honest with himself, the woman he’s dating and the public about where he was on the topic of marriage. Let’s just hope Cassie doesn’t have to wait another seven years before they actually walk down the aisle.

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