La La Anthony Doles Out Advice On Marriage Vs. Wedding, Divorce And Sex

Life & Love | Bené Viera | 01/30/2014 | 11:26 AM EST

The 'Baggage Claim' actress is hoping to head to the best-seller list with new relationship advice book

La La Anthony’s married to one of the most well known NBA players in the league. But long before Carmelo Anthony came along, La La had a career of her own in the entertainment industry.

In her new book “The Love Playbook: Rules for Love, Sex, and Happiness” the actress, wife and mother doles out advice that she’s gathered from celebrity friends like Kelly Rowland, Ciara, Serena Williams and Monica. For her NYC Barnes & Noble book release event she spilled the tea to The YBF on divorce, marriage vs. the wedding and sex.

La La advised against people getting married for the sake of having a wedding. The Baggage Claim actress said she was criticized for being engaged so long, but her relationship has outlasted some of those same critics.

“I say don’t forget about the marriage and what’s really important. Is there love there at the core of your relationship? Weddings are great but then everybody goes home and you’re still stuck with the person you married."

She has no regrets about her own wedding day because she did it her way.

“I was talked about for being engaged for so long and then getting married, but I’ve lasted longer in this relationship than a lot of people that were criticizing me. But at the end of the day I did it my way and that’s what I’m most happy about and I wouldn’t change anything.”

Her advice for married couples who are headed toward divorce is a little bit more complex. She doesn’t advise anyone to stay in a marriage they’re unhappy in, but thinks all measures should be taken to see if the marriage can be salvaged before heading to Splitsville.

“I would not encourage someone to stay in a relationship where they’re not happy,” she told The YBF. “But have you done everything before you’ve gone through that final step? Have you tried therapy? Have you talked to your pastor? Have you talked to family? Have you talked to friends? Have you done everything? [If] they say yes, who am I to encourage someone to stay in a relationship where they’re not happy?”

She reiterates that it’s really about evaluating your specific situation.

La La, 34, said her son Kiyan has changed her life. Every decision she makes regarding her work schedule is based around him.

“The feeling of loving someone more than yourself is something I didn’t understand until I became a mom. Kiyan was at the book signing and it was important for me to have him there. I want to share this kind of thing with him. It’s important for him to see his mom working.”

Yes! We love the part about her wanting her son to see her working. She says her husband completely supports her. And her one rule on sex?

"It’s the most simplest rule ever. Treat people how you want to be treated. I know it’s so like a nursery rhyme, but it’s so true. Letting people know when you appreciate them. It goes so much further than so many other things."

Is that rule really about sex, girl? We were hoping for something a bit more rated R. But we know La La likes to keep it PG-13.

Her book is in stores now.

(Photo: Lala Anthony via Instagram)

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