Gabrielle Union is continuing to ride high on her engagement to longtime boyfriend Dwyane Wade and is dishing out a few relationship dos and don'ts that helped her along the way.
The Being Mary Jane star, who is enjoying the show's impressive debut (five million viewers), recently spoke with Glamour magazine about her keys to a happy relationship which include compromising, no nitpicking and embracing your inner freak.
Check out a few of Union's rules below.
DO forget your "type." It worked for me. When I met Dwyane, his "résumé" looked like crap: athlete, going through a divorce, nine years younger than me. None of that screamed, "Let's have a lasting relationship." Then, after I had a heart-crushing breakup with yet another immature jerk, I thought, it can't be any worse if I date a fetus. Let's just see what happens. Turned out he'd been on his own since he was 15. He had wisdom that comes with facing an insane amount of adversity. He's sweet, funny, honest about his shortcomings. When I put my preconceived notions to the side, I found someone cool.
DO show him your feelings. Daily. Dwyane generally gets up before I do to go to the gym, and he's never left without kissing me and telling me he loves me. As for me, I am complimentary to the point where I am almost a little Chester the Molester-y. I think he's so delicious. Watching him get out of the shower never gets old. Never. It's not like he ever wonders what I'm thinking, but usually he's thinking, She needs a cold shower!
DON'T write off an ex (or get back together) without really thinking it through. When you're debating whether to go backward or forward, you have to look at the original issue. [When Dwyane and I broke up briefly in 2013], it was because of distance and scheduling. I finished filming the show, then I flew to Vegas right away to start shooting Think Like a Man Too. I couldn't take time off, and I missed some quality togetherness we desperately needed. Over the summer, I reassessed priorities. I'd always wanted an awesome career with back-to-back projects, but I realized I wasn't willing to sacrifice my relationship for it. Moving forward, I decided my work schedule has to make sense for our family. Bottom line: If an issue's a deal breaker, it's a deal breaker. If your relationship isn't something you're willing to give up and you can compromise, do so.
DON'T rush into marriage out of fear of dying alone. I got married at 28 because my friends were getting married, starting to have kids—and, in my mind, 26, 27 was old. I thought, I'd better jump on this because soon I'll be 30 and an old maid. And I chose wrong. You can't go by what your friends are doing or your family is influencing you to do. Think about this: Worst-case scenario, do you want to give this fool half of your money? As the person who had to write the check at the end of my marriage, had I thought about that, I'd have put more time into choosing the right person. And, yes, the wait can be scary—that feeling of "Am I always going to be watching TV alone, cooking for one; is my best friend my only real soulmate?" But the right person is worth the wait.
DO indulge your inner freak. Sometimes my girlfriends will mention sexting or certain positions as something they'd do only with a guy on spring break. They'll say, "You don't do that with someone you love." And I'll say, "That's who you're supposed to do it with." If I can do this awesome, amazing thing with some dude I met at a bar, why wouldn't I be able to do it with the person I love? If you're into it and he's into it and it's legal enough that the police aren't going be involved—then go for it! Do it. A lot.
Check out her entire list over at Glamour!
(Photo: Glamour Magazine, February 2014)