A Guide To Getting Over Your Ex In 2014

Life & Love | Gerren Keith Gaynor | 01/03/2014 | 11:45 AM EST

Moving on from a bad breakup may seem difficult, but it’s not impossible

Getting over an ex can sometimes feel like a never-ending journey. Just when you think you’ve climbed that uphill battle, you find yourself back where you left off: Hurt. Resentful. Hopeful that one day, somehow the two of you will find your way back to each other.

But chances are when you’re home licking your wounds from a bad breakup, your ex-- who presumably broke your heart-- is out doing what he or she wants to do without any care or regard for you. So why should you be the one in a corner sulking? However, getting over an ex isn’t easy. Whether it’s your first love or most meaningful love, it takes a lot of time and soul searching to get past the hurt.

The first thing you’d want to do is acknowledge the pain. People tend to bottle up their emotions, refusing to express how they feel. Admitting that your heart has been broken not only helps you get over the initial shock or dismay, but it allows you to be vulnerable so others (family and friends) can help you along the way. But before you can turn to others, you need to do the necessary work from within. Rather than being down in the dumps, it’s imperative that you carry on with life. No matter what pain you may be experiencing, life still goes on. Your happiness should solely be solely defined by one relationship; you should also be able to find joy in your career, in your loved ones and in hobbies that you are passionate about.

If you’re still holding on to hope that your ex will call you up to profess their love for you and desire to try again, you’re only setting yourself up for disappointment. When a person wants to be with you, they will make it abundantly clear. Love isn’t a guessing game. It’s very clear and direct, and you should never have to beg someone to be a part of your life...ever.

Make this new year about you and not your ex. Accept the fact that it’s over and take the experience as something to learn and grow from. No matter how much we think we love someone, it’s important to understand that some relationships are only meant for a time and a season, and should be seen as learning lessons. Past relationships are designed to shape your dating capital (what you bring to the dating table for future suitors); they help design who you are as a person and it makes you better prepared for the relationship(s) to come.

Breakups suck. But they don’t have to weigh you down to the point that you forget to live for yourself. Believe that no matter how much you thought your ex was “the one,” that a new and better love is on the horizon. Life continues. So press play and move forward.

(Photo: Dean Mitchell/Getty Images)

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