Four Common Mistakes People Make In Relationships

Life & Love | Gerren Keith Gaynor | 11/13/2013 | 09:00 AM EST

Take notes-- relationships don't have to be so complicated

Most relationships these days never last. But the reasons why may vary. Believe or not, most of the contributors to a failed relationship can either be prevented, or at the very least better understood so that you don’t end up making the same mistakes.

While dating can be challenging, it doesn’t have to be so complicated. Oftentimes, there are universal mistakes we make that contribute to the demise of our relationships, and the best way to circumvent them is to both identify and correct them.

Here are four common mistakes people make in relationships that may be useful to you:

Living In A Fantasy – The beginning stages of a relationship is a lot like the first day at work. Everyone is polite and pleasant…that is until reality sets in. The most common mistake people make in the first stages of a relationship is allowing their fantasy of who they’re dating and what they want the relationship to be like, get the best of them. It’s okay to have high hopes. Who doesn’t want to believe that the person they’re dating is “the one”? But there’s a huge difference between being hopeful and being delusional. Those who get so caught up in what they want the relationship to be, usually end up missing what the relationship actually is. So when the rug is pulled from underneath them, they’re often left disappointed. Life is not a fairytale, and the quicker you learn that, the better.

Not Communicating Your Deal Breakers – Many fail to communicate what it is they’re looking for out of their partner. Everyone has a deal breaker. For some it’s religion, while for others it may be educational status. Rather than letting it be known what they will and will not tolerate, however, many people will often remain silent. It’s OK to have a reasonable list of qualities and attributes you’d like in your partner.  Without them, you won’t find true compatibility in your mate. With that said, it’s also important to know when to draw the line in the sand. If someone doesn’t match up to your desired list, know when to cut him or her loose. Don’t allow your need to be with someone be the reason you end up in an unfulfilled relationship.

Ignoring The Red Flags – Before any relationship has met its course, typically the writing is already on the walls. The problem is that rather than acknowledging them early on, people tend to ignore them, hoping that somehow it will rectify itself. But it won’t. If you see signs that your partner has a wandering eye, or happens to lack ambition, chances are they won’t change. Know when to say enough is enough. Ignoring the glaring red flags won’t make it magically disappear.

Not Speaking Up – There’s nothing worse than a relationship consisting of two people who hold their tongues. Not speaking up in your relationship can be a fatal blow. If there’s room for repair, addressing issues head on is your best bet at saving the relationship. But even if the relationship can’t be saved, you have to be OK with that. Sometimes out of fear of ending up alone, or not finding someone better, we stay in situations we know are not healthy for our wellbeing. If you’re not happy, say something.

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