Maintaining a happy and healthy relationship is hard work, no matter how you slice it. But keeping harmony in your relationship can become quite the challenge when you allow friends and family in on your business. While we all like to confide in our loved ones for approval, advice or even an outlet for venting, how much you share with others can make the difference between your relationship surviving the test of time or burning up in flames.
Despite our need to share our dating experiences with family and friends, keeping your relationship private can do a world of good. Even celebrity couples like Beyoncé and Jay-Z understand the value in keeping some things to yourself. Everyone doesn’t need to know that you and your partner just had a heated argument over a suspicious text message or your monthly spending budget. Some things are better left resolved on your own.
The reason why turning to your loved ones may not be the best idea for your relationship is primarily because your family and friends are always going to be within the bias interest of you. Every detail you share about your relationship can be used against you in the long run. The same people you confide in during times of strife are the same friends you’re going to expect to be happy and support your relationship should you decide to make it work. So while you may be upset with your partner in the present moment, you may regret it when they begin to judge your relationship because of the negative seeds you’ve already planted in their heads. While we are more easily able to breakup to make up, our loved ones may be less forgiving. As a result, you taint the perception they have of your partner, making it extremely hard for him or her to win back their trust - and no one wants to be with someone who doesn’t have the approval of their loved ones.
Of course, keeping things bottled up isn’t healthy for any relationship, which is why it’s important to have an outlet. But that outlet doesn’t have to be your close friends and family. Try bringing your partner to couples therapy, or consider the advice of those you aren’t that close to like your co-workers - that is, of course, if you trust that it won’t become the latest gossip fodder at work. But if you’re going to share things with your family and friends, be sure to keep details to a minimum. The less they know the better. To be sure, if the perils within your relationship are so massive that you have to confide in your loved ones, by all means do so. But be prepared for the consequences should you decide to stick around in the relationship. You never want to give them too much ammo.
The best policy is to keep what happens in your relationship within the actual relationship. The goal of any relationship should be to love and grow together, and sometimes the one person you need to vent about your relationship is the actual person you’re dating. Rather than running around town complaining about your love woes, you can be at home talking it out with your partner. That is what relationships are for, right?
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