Building A Relationship With The Mother Of Your Partner's Kids

Life & Love | Bené Viera | 11/11/2013 | 02:26 PM EST

Ciara Plays Nice With The Mother's of Future's Kids

Ciara is already prepping for her future (no pun intended) role as wife. As Atlanta singer Future’s fiancé, she’s starting early to make sure she and the mothers of Future’s kids all live in harmony.

Last week Ciara posted a few Instagram flicks with three unknown women. The caption read, “#MyFamily. @indiajai. @tia_treon. @thebrittni. #Honest #Love ❤.” The media quickly gathered that the three women in the picture were the mothers of Future’s three kids. There’d been reports of alleged beef between Ciara and one of the mothers, Brittni Mealy. Mealy denied the beef, but told The YBF that she had no reason to meet Ciara. This is before Ciara became Future’s fiance.

Future has since cleared up the photo once and for all saying his sister was in the picture, and only two of his three kid’s mothers were in the picture. He confirmed that he has three kids and three “baby mamas.”

It isn’t uncommon to marry someone who has children from a previous relationship(s). Jada Pinkett Smith wrote an open letter on blended families where she admitted she had to learn to love Will Smith's ex wife Sheree Fletcher. Will and Sheree’s son, Trey, was part of the package when Jada married Will. And she accepted the full package.

It’s admirable that wives and wives-to-be understand the importance of getting along with the mother of their partner’s kids. All adults involved in co-parenting children should take their roles seriously.

Animosity between any of the parties involved can have a negative impact on the child. Ciara has the right idea by not entering a marriage with unresolved tension with the mothers of her fiance’s kids. After all, Future’s exes will be part of Ciara’s life forever. Yes, even after the age of 18. Raising children doesn’t end the day the kids turn 18. Considering how messy the entire ordeal has been--child support, accusations of Future not taking care of his kids, drama--it seems a bit too soon to be calling one another family as if they’re one big happy Brady Bunch blended family. But it's better than negativity. 

It’s Ciara’s choice to marry a man with three children by three different women. We assume she’s aware of the challenges she may face.

For anyone entering into blended families communication is key. What the mothers of the kids expect when a new woman enters into the picture is a conversation she must have with her ex before the new fiancé steps in. At some point the women must have an honest conversation about the relationship they will have to have for the child’s sake. And all three parties need to discuss how to acclimate the child into his/her new family structure.

It’s not going to be easy. It will be even harder if the ex is harboring any bitterness for their former partner’s wrongdoing. And it certainly takes a mature adult to take part in helping to raise someone else’s kids. Good luck to Ciara and all the blended families out there!

(Photo: Ciara via Instagram)

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