Over the past few months, Ive taken a step back to really think about how I prioritize my time and attention. Outside of work, I spend a significant among of time forming and sustaining friendships. I love my friends. Theyre a hilarious group of people with similar interests and philosophies of life. What separates them is the amount of attention and time they give our relationship. In many of my relationships (past and present), Ive been the one to initiate reaching out and checking in, even when there was nothing coming from the other party. Needless to say, I learned the hard way that some of those people in my life were quite frankly not concerned with me. To some extent many of them had been indirectly (yet directly) walking out of my life, and I wasted time trying to keep them around.
The realization that the people can change, and reveal themselves to be a person not aligned with the character you got accustomed to, can be tough. Do you express your frustrations? Do you cut them off? Both are viable routes. For me, when someone shows themselves to be unworthy of my friendship, we talk about it, and they still continue to operate under their terms; re-evaluating the relationship shouldn't be an option.
In a powerful video clip I saw a few months ago, Bishop T.D. Jakes preached, When people can walk away from you, let them walk. If you value your time, attention, love and friendship, why waste it on the undeserving? Why spend time trying to hold onto things and people who dont want to be held? Why try bonding with people who don't want to get closer to you? Doing these things hold your destiny and proverbial light, hostage.
When we let go of friendships that arent true friendships and love that is not reciprocated, all we are losing is the weight of broken promises and unfulfilled expectations. Focusing your attention on toxic relationships causes you to ignore the abundant love and friendship from others that's probably in your face.
When people can walk away from you, let them walk!