Is Gold Digging Necessarily Wrong?

Life & Love | By sueZette Yasmin Robotham | 08/05/2013 | 02:43 PM EDT

Does a woman on the hunt for a man with financial stability, means she's a money hungry opportunist?

I'd like to make the assertion that a gold-digger is merely a woman with an entrepreneurial spirit that runs deep. So, how can we hate a sista for getting hers? While I am not out to rationalize the hoe-ish practices of certain women, even the most uptight of sista can admit that women have done far too much for free. Since we’re being honest, it’s also safe to assert that every woman has a little gold-digger living inside of her---in varying degrees of course. No matter how much money and accolades a woman might gain, that inner gold-digger is always waiting in our conscious watching and casing out a situation (a man). Ladies, let’s face it, the pursuit of happiness costs. The great Tamar Braxton once said: “Money can't buy me love, but it sho' nuff pays the bills around here!" While we know Miss She-Me-Her can be over the top at times, girlfriend was speaking the real (no pun intended).  

Recently, a friend and I were debating gender roles and the role of money in a relationship. She's 31, and declared that once she turned 30, her standards for what she would and wouldn’t accept in a relationship completely changed, namely the fact that she will date a man even if he’s not drop dead gorgeous. Simply put, good looks became a non-factor. To her credit, she did state that her man doesn’t have to be a millionaire, but he’s got to have a good heart, treat her right, and be able to spend when it counts: birthday shopping sprees, vacations, buying a home, buying a car---you know the things that make life go’ round.

Our conversation left me to conclude, that if a man wants to play the boss, he has to pay the cost, and if a man wants to spend his money on a woman---for whatever reason---what’s the harm? While I know men, and even a few ladies, across the country reading this will cry foul, let me break it down. In my mind, there are four types of diggers:

1. The Platinum-Digger

This swatch of digger is the gold standard. She’s a business woman at heart and is concerned with attaining or maintaining specific comforts. She’s like the Suzie Orman of the hierarchy, concerned with the future---hers and that of her children if she has them. A woman of morals, she tends to be able to maneuver without having sex with every Tom, Dick, and Harry, but somehow ends up with the man, the house, and the dog---all in her name.

2. The Silver-Digger
She is the quintessential girlfriend, who isn’t shy about taking a nice gift or two every now and then. Adversely
she can be satisfied with a good dinner date and a few exciting outings. This category tends to lean toward the late twenty-something/early thirty-something sista who is trying to build her professional status. She doesn’t give the goods, but hey let’s face it, a woman in her late 20s and 30s has her needs.

3. The Bronze-Digger
Simply put she’s breaking bread instead of making bread---and we do mean bread. You buy this woman some groceries, and/or pay a phone bill, and she’s all yours.

4. The Pyrite (fool's gold) Digger
Every woman might possess an inner bird element, but this particular type of female let’s her cluck-cluck screech at all times. She’s motivated by materialistic things, and willing to put out, and be treated like a dog for a new Louis Vuitton purse or Christian Louboutin pumps.

At the end of the day, no matter which spectrum of the digger’s wheel a woman falls, the common thread amongst all of them is protection and provision. No matter how self-sufficient and “independent” a woman is financially, we love to be cared for. Do I consider myself to be a gold-digger? I like to be considered a woman with standards. Do I have the capacity to dig? Oh hell yes and I’m not ashamed to say it. 

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