Are You In A Bad Relationship For Sport?

Life & Love | By admin | 03/13/2013 | 02:24 PM EDT

The late great Whitney Houston once sang, "Love Is A Contact Sport." And while the hazards involved with playing contact sports (i.e. football, hockey, lacrosse) can be painful, they still manage to attract men and women in earnest. Such is the case with love. The headaches, heartbreaks, bruised egos---all perils in the game of love---don't matter. But what happens when those "players" play in a game they know is rigged? What happens when a participant in the game of love knows the "game" isn't right? They leave. Or at least that's what I would do. However, such is not the case for a new string of players who think dealing with troubled relationships is a veritable training camp for landing their "true love"---who just happens to be someone else. Last week marked three months since my boy started dating his current girlfriend, and in those ninety days Ive learned very little about her beyond the fact that shes immature, obnoxious, indecisive, and far more representative of a "high school brat" than a secure and intelligent grown woman.

After hearing so many negative things about her, I wanted to know why in the world did he continue to date her, when he knew it wasn't working for him. So I asked him. His response: Im dating her because shes helping me become more patient as a person and in doing so Im preparing myself for the true woman I want to be with when she comes along. Im pretty sure the ground was not prepared for how heavy my jaw was when it fell from my face. I was shocked. Heres this poor woman---who like so many women and men has apparently missed every opportunity under the sun to grow into her full potentialwho's dating a brother who is "intelligent, professional, independent, caring, and thoughtful." A man she thinks is accommodating her weaknesses...like a teammate would. Little does she know, she's being used like a field house tackle dummy. Shes going to be surprised when he leaves her in a few months once he attains his "patience goal. " Generally speaking, when you begin dating someone and you cant see anything good coming of it, you should probably forfeit the game while youre ahead. One should not use people for "practice." There are no "scrimmage games" in real life. Things happen, and they happen in real time. I seriously doubt that if the tables were turned, and my boy was the usee, rather than the user, he would be so dismissive of the fact that he's actually doing his bratty girlfriend a disservice. Have you ever used someone to help you become the object of another lover's eye?

---Dymir Arthur

Edited: Justin Dwayne Joseph

The More Friends You Go With, The More You Drink
Categories: Life_Love, Relationships

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